Churchy Humor for Breakfast

THIS IS TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE.

But for the church nerds out there, it must be read.

The following is a church history song done to the tune of
Supercalafragalisticexpialadocius from Mary Poppins.  I’ve seen an attribution to Dan ldzikowski as the author, but I have no idea if that is true.

Chorus: Um diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle urn diddle ay

Superchristological and Homoousiosis
Even thought the sound of them is something quite atrocious
You can always count on them to anathemize your Gnosis
Superchristological and Homoousiosis

Now Origen and Arius were quite a clever pair.
Immutable divinity made Logos out of air.
But then one day Saint Nicholas gave Arius a slap,
and told them if they can’t recant, they ought to shut their trap!

One Prosopon, two Ousia are in one Hypostasis.
At Chalcedon this formula gave our faith its basis.
You can argue that you don’t know what this really means,
But don’t you go and try to say there’s a “Physis’ in between!

Now freedom and autonomy are something to be praised,
But when it comes to human sin, these words must be rephrased,
For Pelagius was too confident that we could work it out–
And Augustine said “massa damnata” is what it’s all about.

Heresies are arguments that you might find attractive,
But just remember in this case the Church is quite reactive.
So play it safe and memorize these words we sing together,
‘Cause in the end you’ll find, my friend, that we may live forever.

….yeah. Enjoy.