I got 95 Theses, but the Pope ain’t One [video]

Hilarious 95 Theses Rap…here’s their website.

Lyrics after the jump

If you havin Church problems then dont blame God, son
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope aint one.

VERSE 1
Listen up, all my people, its a story for the telling
bout the sin and injustice and corruption I been smelling:
I met that homie Tetzel, then I started rebelling
Once I seen the fat Indulgences that he been selling.
Now the Cathlics of the world straight up disgracin me
Just because I waved my finger at the papacy.
My people got riled up over this Reformation
Thats when Leo threatened me with Excommunication.
I warned yall that Rome best agree to the terms.
If not, then you can eat my Diet of Worms!
You think you done something spectacular?
I wrote the Bible in the vernacular!
A heretic! [What?] Someone throw me a bone.
You forgot salvation comes through faith alone.
Im on a mission from God. You think I do this for fun?
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope aint one.
Save me!

CHORUS
Ninety-five theses but the Pope aint one.
If you havin Church problems then dont blame God, son
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope aint one.

VERSE 2
One Five One Seventhats when it first went down.
Then the real test was when it started spreading around.
Sixty days to recant what I said? Father, please!
Youve had, what? Goin on fifteen centuries?
Oh snap, hes messin with the holy communion.
But I aint never dissed your precious hypostatic union!
One place at one time. Well, thank you Zwingli.
Yeah, way to disregard that whole Im God thingy!
Getting all up in my rosaryyou little punk.
Your momma shoulda told you not to mess with no monk.
What you bumpin me for? Suddenly you sore.
Keep that up, youll have yourself another Peasant War.
You blame common folk for the smack they talkin
You aint even taught them proper Christian doctrine.
With my hat, my Bible, and my sexy little nun,
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope aint one.
Save me!

CHORUS

VERSE 3
When I wrote the ninety-five, haters straight up assailed em.
Now they only care whether or not I nailed em or mailed em.
They got psychoanalytic. Now everyones a critic,
And getting on my case just because Im anti-Semitic.
Ive come back from obscurity to teach yall a lesson,
Cuz someone here still aint read their Augsburg Confession.
I said Catholicism brings a life of excess,
And we all remember what went down with Philip of Hesse!
But you forgot about me and my demonstration?
Like you can just create your own denomination?
We dont like this part, so well just add a little twist.
Now we Anglican, Amish, and even Calvinist.
I gave you the power, you gone and abused it.
I gave you Gods truth, you just confused it.
Dont you never underestimate the s*** that I done
I got 95 theses but the Pope aint one.
Save me!

CHORUS

Shout out to Johann Gutenberg… I see you baby.