This is a notice that Hacking Christianity has recently been bought out by PetSmart. As everyone knows, PetSmart is a pet store and their #1 client is gay couples or gay singles. We don’t know why this phenomenon is true…maybe their pets love them like God does: just the way they are.
But, alas, this means there are changes in store for this website.
In homage to my new overlords, I now give you Pink Kitten Christianity, a new website with a more overt purpose: to spread the HomoLiberalAgenda through subversive usage of pink, kittens, and love. Our new mission is to use these themes to further the HomoLiberalAgenda to take over the Church. Muhahahha.
You ask, why Pink, Kittens, and Love? Well, honey, let me explain.
PINK: Pink is nice, gentle, affirming. It brightens up a room with its texture and its grace. Pink is necessary to help others feel happy about our plans to further the HomoLiberalAgenda in the Church. See? Pink? It is lovely. So lovely. No one will ever associate negative opinions with the Agenda’s insistance that women are people too if all they see is pink. Subversive, but brilliant.
KITTENS: Who doesn’t love kittens? The cute lil things? They are not ferocious or scary at all…they are just playful. Kinda like the HomoLiberalAgenda…we are not scary people, just people who wanna have fun and relax at Methodist
Country Clubs Churches. If our mascot is a kitten, who wouldn’t want to snuggle and hear our positions against substitutionary atonement? Subversive, but cuddly.
LOVE: All You need is Love! Love between same sexes will not destroy society; it will give more love into the world. Love is all you need, and with love, we can defeat our foes through love not through hating on the gays every four years. Subversive, but subversive.
So, there you have it. Hacking Christianity is now Pink Kitten Christianity, and together we can further the HomoLiberalAgenda and make the Church that much closer to the Apocalypse because gays will be marrying, women will have rights over their bodies, and yes, dogs and cats living together: mass hysteria. And along the way, we will have pink things, cute kittens, and love for one another.
So, now that this website’s true purpose has been revealed, we can live life openly, honestly, and with pink fluffy adooooorable kittens. Oh, and as a reader you are automatically joining in the HomoLiberalAgenda, so welcome to the subversive but cuddly side!
Thank you for being a part of this transition, I hope this first day of April treats you well.